play a song for me [29 Aug 2009|11:00am] [ mood | no longer constipated ] jesus christ. it is only eleven o'clock. i have been up since six because yesterday i made the decision to go ahead and drink some senna tea because my diet for the last week has been primarily string and gouda cheese. laxatives might actually be a good study technique to keep in mind, seeing as how they put you in the bathroom, one of the all-time greatest places to hunch over a book, they prevent you from leaving the house for fear of soiling yourself (i seriously almost shit my pants in District 9 last night, and i will not be going anywhere until my gastrointestinal juices quit boiling and roiling around inside me), and if you time it like i did, there are suddenly several more hours in your day that could be devoted to reading (i have gone through almost a third of Portrait of an Artist this morning). i have no idea how i am going to make it from now until whenever it is i finally sleep again. so far today i have: been to the bathroom three times. read eighty pages of joyce bathed lady things i still need to do today: read another eighty pages of joyce. do laundry for the month. clean my room. exercise. things i should try to find time to do but probably won't: edit my book. clean the living room. build a zombie computer so for to retrieve music and pornography from hard disks of failed computer. take lady for a bike ride [which can be lumped in with the above exercise, but only if i feel no danger in sitting on a bike seat later this evening]. tomorrow i go to santa cruz with laura. i am excited. i am getting to a point where i am enjoying doing things again. i am definitely enjoying having friends again, even if i still spend most of my time hiding from them. there is, apparently, a war of sorts going on among dennis' friends for the affection of gina. at least, this is what he says. i would say that would be fun, but it just simply isn't true. jeremy talks about how hot she is a lot, but he's just a horny little fuck. he's also "in love" with robyn. the other guy, john, i don't know very well. from what i know of him, he is a very cool guy, nice and mellow. i heard rumor they had a date yesterday or today. and while i like gina, i haven't decided yet entirely if i am going to pursue her. i am not really in any position to be taking on a new relationship: i am broke, financially and emotionally, my house smells weird and has embarrassing holes in the walls. it is my father's house. i don't know how long i am going to even still be in this town. maybe four months, maybe a year. in that time any extra money i have needs to go to paying off my credit card debt, not on frivolities designed to keep things exciting. but none of this is why i say dennis is wrong about the war thing. he is wrong because if it does turn into a competition, there won't be any competition. not only is there no way in hell either of those gangly little bastards could outperform me if the woman was my type, but i refuse jump like a terrier at her heels. if i decide to win her (and something stupid doesn't happen while i'm making up my mind, like she starts dating dating john) i will do so by sitting back and looking fucking irresistible. i'm not just the boy breathing down your neck; i'm absolutely the most important man in the world. uh oh. here comes number four

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