3 songs - play a song for me [16 Aug 2009|04:17pm] [ mood | contemplative ] if i still believed in signs from the universe, i'd be going a lot crazier than i am right now. i have dreamed of Felicia at least a dozen times in the last month. I haven't seen her since she gave laura the stinkeye in Denny's, fuck, four years ago. She doesn't, apparently, exist, on facebook or myspace, and i have no idea how to go about doing anything more. why am i thinking about her so much? there are no less than three answers to that question, and i am aware of them all, and none of them satisfy me.

play a song for me [16 Aug 2009|09:03pm] [ mood | lonely ] of course the fact that i just watched brazil doesn't help the Felicia situation. you know, i really should have cut and run when kayce fell asleep during Brazil - in the theatre . god. now it is only nine o'clock. as it stands i can either watch another movie (and then not have enough to last me until wednesday. i really can't wait until school starts. i don't give a damn about the classes i'm taking (okay, i'm a little excited), and as excited i am at the prospect of having a livable income once more, it is not work that i cannot wait for. it is sleep. i haven't slept more than five hours straight in a month. i thought my insomnia was gone, i had outgrown it. i just wore a bit and bridle so long i was broken. now it seems it's back and making up for lost years. i cannot wait until my schedule forces me into submission again. i can't take much more of this, because it's not even productuve insomnia. i get all my work done in the day, and then night rolls around and watch infomercials or murder civilians in grand theft auto. i am too tired to do any more. and i am hot. my brain works not so good in the extreme of heat. oh god. what am i doing? where am i going? sometimes i wonder how we ever got here...

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